toilet brush

Black Friday: Wild Tooth Brush Wars & Coming Carnage…Cyber Monday

You can mark me down on this: I will begin stocking my Y2K bomb shelter with peanut butter, toilet paper, coffee and most importantly a tooth brush, on November 1st of every year, far before carnivorous crowds & zombie apocalyptic soccer moms run the aisles of Target drugged on cranberry sauce and tryptophan.

It’s material anarchy, a disintegration of our great society succumbed with paranoia, and Polly Pocket is to blame. Her make believe world in a woman’s compact blush-mirror is a vortex sucking souls into a plastic world, a world known as Black Friday.

Much like Arnie’s world…

All I wanted was a tooth brush!? A simple .99 cent tooth brush because the bristles on mine resembled Kei$ha hungover.

Had I known I would be forced to weave cart- traffic like a rat zig zagging in-and-through a labyrinth I’d opted for bad breath. Decided it best to hole up and eat turkey sandwiches. Play it safe and sit still, staring at ESPN until my eyes felt like molasses.

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What Really Attracts Women To Men

Guys, if you’re still wondering what women want, there are a few simple answers to that question. As a woman, I am here to give you honest answers. There are certainly many sarcastic answers to the question, “What attracts women?” Some girls will chase after fame. Some women, unfortunately, do want a man with a nice car and lots of money, but you likely won’t find happiness with someone who is looking for a relationship with your wallet. Please don’t read that wrong: I’m not talking about money. Success is part of what attracts women, but you can find success in many places. A great, well-paying job is fine and well, but you don’t have to have a flashy resume to impress a woman. Everyone is good at something, so be sure to let your strengths shine! If you play music, dazzle a girl you like with a serenade. If you enjoy sports, participate in a team. Women take pride in their relationships....