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Catching Up With The Diva Andrea Simakis

I blame Jessica Simpson.

While perusing a sale rack at Von Maur in Columbus, your roving correspondent was hit in the head by a shoe. (No, an admirer trying to get her attention didn’t throw it.)

Following a video review of the event by security, it was determined that the black open-toed stiletto — drag queen size 11 — had succumbed to gravity after being precariously balanced on a shelf by a careless shopper. Luckily, the Diva’s mane of lush, bouncing curls deflected the blow, but her blood pressure spiked once she noted the brand: Paris Hilton.

Even though the shoe said Paris, Jessica is the guilty party.

The toothsome Texan known for slipping into Daisy Duke’s daisy dukes, bad skin (thanks to her stint as a pitchwoman for Proactiv) and a worse marriage to Nick Lachey has taken what should have been a career with the life expectancy of a tsetse fly and parlayed it into a net worth of $100 million.

Though she started her pop life as a singer, her last album was “Happy Christmas” in 2010, a collection of Auto-Tuned holiday covers. Her true claim to fame, aside from announcing that she thought Buffalo wings came from bison, is her beauty-and-accessories empire.

27th October 2011 – Fashion Philosophy Fashion Week Poland - Al-Swic

This collection featured black and grey jersey basics with flashes of neon colour and strange elements like full hoods, covering the face with bulbous padded eyeholes looking like something from Guantanamo bay. One outfit featured a plastic flamingo maxi skirt which looked a little like a shower curtain. A few of the male models came out on BMX bikes and a skateboard in cycling shorts in neons under black jersey miniskirts. Women wore elasticised waists and t-shirts with black bra cups. Certainly an interesting collection of basic shapes with interesting colours and additions.